We at Shared Sunday’s like to do just that, share. It is with this idea in mind that I will now share with you what I consider a personal story, my “sex toy situation.”
Just so we cover our bases (all of which belong to us), I’m a 25 year old straight male who has been in a relationship with a beautiful girl for almost 6 years now. Prior to the beginning of our relationship none of us had owned a sex toy.
In the 4th year of our relationship my girlfriend and spent a year in Korea teaching English. This was a post university trip that allowed us to make some money and do a little traveling. For reasons not critical to this article I elected to stay in Korea on an additional 3 month extension, the longest time since the beginning of our relationship that we would be separated.
During this “alone” time my libido did not slow down and a couple weeks after she left I grew tired of good old righty. While cruising the web (read “perusing porn”) I came across an ad for the self proclaimed number one male sex toy in the world, the 8th wonder of the world, the “flesh light.” I have learned since then that there is brand awareness for this particular product among the porn surfing male community (apparently advertising works).
I went to the website and after a little legwork ordered from a website that would ship to South Korea (no easy feat). A couple weeks later my prize arrived. I went home that night, took it out of the box read the instructions, and was willing to give it a shot right there and then. Unfortunately the product does not work without lube, something I failed to realize when I ordered, I would have to find some locally. During this time I even showed my toy to a good friend (who had a good laugh… typical).
After a week of disuse I found a Korean “love shop” close to my apartment. I found the lube right away, but could not help exploring the entire bachelor apartment sized shop. Among the toys in there were anime sex dolls of all kinds of sizes and textures, just fascinating…
With lube in tow I headed home and gave my new toy a test run, and truthfully… the first time was a little awkward, kind of like the first time you ever masturbated, or had sex. Physically the device performed exceptionally, but I just wasn’t mentally into it. I couldn’t help but stare and repeat over and over in my head that… “this is it, your using a sex toy.” I felt a little bit cheap, a little bit like… “this is what my life’s come to.”
After a second use, I got used to the idea that yes, I bought a sex toy, and YES I will damn well use it whenever I please! Things started to work out between me and my mini vagina, kinda like things worked out when I first started using my right hand, and kind of like things continue to work out between me and my girlfriend.
If I had to review the flesh light as a movie critic I would have to give it a perfect score, its only shorcummings (pun intended) were unavoidable.
As a man, sex is inherently messy. Success for a man always involves a shake of the Champaign bottle that ends in (this man’s case) a mighty explosion. That’s all well and good, as men we are used to that. What is interesting about using a sex toy is the maintenance aspect. Suddenly masturbation will need to be planned, things will need to be cleaned, things will need to be stored, and things will need to be “de-lubed.” I was particularly impressed with how simple yet effective the device was. Despite being entirely powered by the user, there is s high degree of pressure control via the cap at the top (though the air escaping makes for a rather distracting sound).
I have since returned to Canada, sex toy in tow. My sex toy is fun to have, but takes a back seat in my sex life, even old righty has a higher place in the order (if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!)
What inspired me to write this article is the off color attitude that I see most guys taking towards sex toys. Males seem to enjoy boasting about their sexual prowess, are not ashamed to admit they masturbate, and are even willing to admit to borderline strangers their most extreme sexual fantasies. Why then, does it appear to be more taboo for a man to have a sex toy than women? I can’t say if this is a North American thing (the sex shop in Korea was dominated by male products), but it seems to be something most males shun. (at least openly)
There is no question that the sex industry is primarily driven by men, why not the sex toy industry?